he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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