oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Who died my cat blue again?
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