Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
