I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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