I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
