Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My vagina just clenched in fear
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