It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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