my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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