This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
