he puts the penis in happiness.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
