after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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