I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
