The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
