So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize