lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just found a bag of teeth...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
