just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
