turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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