is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
