Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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