I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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