Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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