paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Who died my cat blue again?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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