found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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