Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
