mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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