i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
