My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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