I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
