making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
