Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
