im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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