Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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