If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
