where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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