What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
