I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
