Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
