He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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