No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
