Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize