I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I want to fling myself into the sun
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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