Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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