Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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