I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
