Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
