My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
