She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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