You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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