she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
MIDGETS
????
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize