And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
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Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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