just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
