Umm I'm too high to move.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
