HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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