So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
