The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm both gender and math confused
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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