He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
