3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
