it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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