Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
