he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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