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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch

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• (207): View more from Maine

  If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..

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• (424): View more from California

  Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  And me

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (909): View more from California

  I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  yes

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• (716): View more from New York

  Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?

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• (631): View more from New York

  he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.

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• (858): View more from California

  I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight

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