so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm both gender and math confused
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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