what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
