I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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