i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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