there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
