I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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