I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
