I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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