i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
