I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Thank you for not boning my boss.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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