i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
