I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
