Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
